Poetry – Brian Ferrari's Blog

Dusting Off The Holiday Favorites (2024)

I know I am not alone when I say that I take comfort in the annual repetition of the holidays: revisiting holiday-themed music, films, television shows… and now internet posts. Dave Holmes’ account of Patti LaBelle’s disastrous performance at the 1996 National Christmas Tree lighting is worth an annual revisit. Trust me.

Not to get meta or anything, but the post you are currently reading has been reworked and updated each year since 2020.

While we’re mining the past and dusting off our chestnuts, here’s the intro to the 1999 holiday episode of Bri-Guy’s Media Surf, an NYC Public Access show that featured yours truly lip-synching a little Esquivel:

Whenever the song pops up on my holiday playlist, I still do this.

I find it interesting that we immerse ourselves in certain pop culture favorites for exactly 6 weeks of the year and then pack them up in mothballs with the ornaments until next year. I mean, Brenda Lee’s “Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree” is currently at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100. Burl Ives, Bobby Helms and Andy Williams are also in the top 10. Are any of them on your 4th of July playlist? They aren’t on mine.

*Gabe Pressman (left) with Marilyn Monroe (1956)*

I used to look forward to the annual Christmas Eve tradition on NBC New York’s evening news when reporter Gabe Pressman would read “Yes Virginia, There Is A Santa Claus.” I taped it in 2011, knowing that the tradition wouldn’t last forever. The self-described “little Jewish kid from the Bronx” was 87 years old at the time and continued to work at NBC until his death at age 93.

NBC New York reporter Gabe Pressman’s annual segment on Virginia O’Hanlon’s 1897 letter to the New York Sun Newspaper.

In keeping with this revisit, my other blog posts of Christmas past are back to haunt you like A Christmas Carol, Mr. Scrooge:

Last year I posted Your Guide To Gay Disposable Holiday Movies, highlighting the 10 gayest Lifetime/Hallmark/Netflix movies of the past few years:

Copyright issues kept my 60 Degrees Girl Group Christmas playlists out of commission but now they are back! They have been running each week on the resurrected East Village Radio all month. Click here for streaming:
12/1/2024 – from 2008
12/8/2024 – from 2009
12/15/2024 – from 2012

And here’s a new one:

There’s a new Motown Christmas Special this year that has already aired in prime time several times this month, featuring Smokey Robinson, Gladys Knight, Martha Reeves and The Temptations. Here is my take on the 1987 Motown Christmas Special – which featured very few Motown acts.

Here are 10 Things You May Not Know About March of The Wooden Soldiers, the Laurel & Hardy classic holiday film.

My Canine Christmas Tail is a true story about my dog Sunshine, a basset hound with an appetite for tinsel.

Have you watched Christmas In Connecticut yet this year? How about that delivery woman? This year I was able to update my 2019 post, identifying Daisy Bufford as the actress who played the unbilled role.

The original version of “¿Dónde Está Santa Claus?” is featured in “Llamacita,” this year’s Amazon Prime holiday commercial. Here’s a little backstory on the song & Augie Rios, who sang the original version.

Also – would you like to hear my Spotify holiday playlist?

Way back in 2002, when Limewire was a thing and people listened to music on silvery discs, I started creating Christmas CD mixes that I would mail out or give to people. These were received with a heartwarming combination of feigned delight, veiled indifference and deafening silence. None of these CDs had a pressing of more than 20 copies. I’d like to call them “much sought after” – but no, that’s not really the case, although every once in a while, someone really got into them and would ask for copies of other volumes.

And so, I’m offering this simple playlist…. for kids from 1 to 92. Unfortunately some of the tracks on these dozen CDs are not on Spotify, but I keep adding songs that would be on the current CD volume… if there was one. And now the playlist is over 17 hours of holiday tunes. I recommend listening on shuffle – there’s something to irritate everyone. Enjoy!

Here’s one more nugget to stuff in your stocking: This vid went viral in 2011. Choreographed and performed by Alex Karigan & Zac Hammer of the Amy Marshall Dance Company, it was filmed in one continuous take at the New 42nd St. Dance Studios. There’s something infectious about it: the joy, the corniness, the celebratory queerness of it all. It makes me want to dust off my jazz shoes. Once a year.

Bindle Zine #2 Is Here! Winter 2024

The Winter, 2024 issue of Bindle Zine is out and once again my husband Tobias and I are delighted to be included in the collection of writers and artists, which you can find here. Toby’s artwork, “The Second Time You Die” is inside the front cover and he also contributed an illustration to accompany my essay, “General Slocum.”

*The Second Time You Die by Toby Fox Ferrari*

General Slocum

I was sitting at a table outside the Life Café when the self-appointed mayor of Avenue B waved his change cup towards Tompkins Square Park and said “It’s just beyond those trees – a pink marble monument, engraved on one side: In Memory Of Those Who Lost Their Lives In The Disaster To The Steamer General Slocum, June 15^th, 1904– 1,100 or so lost – they never did get a total- burned on board or drowned in the East River. Women and children, mostly. The heart of this neighborhood, they said.

“You go ’round to the front of the monument where a boy and a girl look away from you – gazing back towards the river with faces obscured by design and a century of wear. Can’t hardly read it anymore but it says: They were Earth’s purest children, young and fair.

“Below that, a lion head spits water into the fountain with a stream that arcs over 100 years, as if to say ‘Here I bring you water to douse the fires in which your loved ones perished…this water, tamed of its currents that swept away your young. Here it flows in its simplest form as you reflect upon what has been lost.’

“But nobody reflects. ‘Cuz nobody remembers. That monument – erected so they would not be forgotten – has been forgotten.”

bin•dle (noun): a bundle of clothes or bedding, stereotypically carried on a stick by runaway children and transients

“We all wander through our lives, and we collect memories, possessions, and relationships. Bundle them all together, and you have yourself a bindle. Our zine represents a collection of writing and art and photography – a bindle of creativity that we send across America, a tramp in search of a mailbox.”

Dusting Off The Holiday Favorites (2023)

Not to get meta or anything, but the post you are currently reading has been reworked and updated each year since 2020.

Whenever the song pops up on my holiday playlist, I still do this.

I find it interesting that we immerse ourselves in certain pop culture favorites for exactly 6 weeks of the year and then pack them up in mothballs with the ornaments until next year. I mean, Brenda Lee’s “Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree” is currently at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100. Burl Ives, Bobby Helms and Andy Williams are also in the top 10. Are any of them on your 4th of July playlist? They aren’t on mine.

NBC New York reporter Gabe Pressman’s annual segment on Virginia O’Hanlon’s 1897 letter to the New York Sun Newspaper.

In keeping with this revisit, my other blog posts of Christmas past are back to haunt you like A Christmas Carol, Mr. Scrooge:

Last week I posted Your Guide To Gay Disposable Holiday Movies, highlighting the 10 gayest Lifetime/Hallmark/Netflix movies of the past few years:

Copyright issues kept my 60 Degrees Girl Group Christmas playlist out of commission but now it’s back! I plan to post other episodes of my old radio show in the new year.

Here is my take on the 1987 Motown Christmas Special – which featured very few Motown acts.

Here are 10 Things You May Not Know About March of The Wooden Soldiers, the Laurel & Hardy classic holiday film.

My Canine Christmas Tail is a true story about my dog Sunshine, a basset hound with an appetite for tinsel.

Also – would you like to hear my Spotify holiday playlist?

A 60 Degrees Girl Group Christmas

I have always loved Christmas music. I tend to listen to older music all year round, but when it comes to sharing music with the general public, this is the only time of year when Brenda Lee is considered cool. To combat the 60’s holiday tracks that are over-covered and overplayed, I am always searching for more obscure holiday recordings by girl groups and female vocalists that are not on radio or Spotify playlists.

When I began hosting my internet radio show 60 Degrees with Brian Ferrari back in 2008, I started an annual tradition of putting together a holiday program full of female 60’s singers and girl groups interspersed with vintage commercials and sound clips from classic holiday movies and television shows. You can listen to the Halloween show here.

East Village Radio was a pirate radio station that went legit and switched to the internet, broadcasting from a storefront in New York’s Lower East Side. This first 60 Degrees holiday show debuted on December 22, 2008 and was repeated annually throughout the shows 5 year run. By 2012, the holiday programs had gained such a following that 60 Degrees was given an uninterrupted 16-hour marathon on Christmas Day.

At the beginning of Part 2 of this episode, I read a Christmas poem that I wrote about an incident from my childhood involving our tinsel-eating dog Sunshine, which has previously been posted here and also on The Good Men Project website. You can’t say I don’t recycle!

Other than my speedy vocal delivery (someone tell that guy to slow down) and some minor sound level issues, the show holds up pretty well. There are a few mis-statements that I wish I could fix:

I said that Maya Rudolph’s mother, the late great Minnie Riperton was not singing lead on The Gems tracks. But it turned out that she was.
I mis-pronounce the Meditation Singers as “The Mediation Singers” and would add that soul singer Laura Lee was a member of the group, having replaced Della Reese in the 1950’s.
Janice Orenstein is the singer on “There’s Always Tomorrow” from the Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer soundtrack.

Part 1

Donde Esta Santa Claus – Toni Stante
Gee Whiz, It’s Christmas – Carla Thomas
My Boyfriend’s Coming Home For Christmas – Toni Wine
Christmas Will Be Just Another Lonely Day – Brenda Lee
White Christmas – Baby Washington
Snowfall – Doris Day
I Want A Boy For Christmas – The Del-Vetts
You Better Be Good, World – Shirley Ellis
Peace For Christmas – Gigi Parker
Christmas Calling – Valerie Masters
Christmas Time – Jan Bradley
All I Want For Christmas Is You – Carla Thomas
Christmas Is The Time To Be With Your Baby – The Orchids
Christmas Time Is Here Again – The Flirtations
O Holy Child – Dusty Springfield
Sleigh Ride – Darlene Love wi/ The Brian Setzer Orchestra
Deep in the Heart of Christmas Darlene Love wi/ The Brian Setzer Orchestra
Christmastime For The Jews – Darlene Love
Xmas (Baby Please Come Home) Live 2005 – Darlene Love

Part 2:

Wish You A Merry Christmas – Kim Weston
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! – The Miracles (featuring Claudette Robinson)
Oh Holy Night – The Supremes (featuring Florence Ballard)
Won’t Be Long Before Christmas – The Supremes
Blue Christmas – The Meditation Singers
Blue Holiday – Aretha Franklin
Love For Christmas -The Gems
Jing Jing A Ling – Honey & The Bees
Silver Bells – Rachel Sweet
Close Your Mouth (It’s Christmas) – The Free Design
The Christmas Song – Sergio Mendes & Brasil ’66
I Don’t Intend to Spend Christmas Without You – Margo Guryan
Happy New Year Baby – JoAnn Campbell
Happy New Year Baby – The Sisters
January First – Peggy March
Happy New Year – Beverley
Jingle Jingle Jingle – Burl Ives
There’s Always Tomorrow – Janice Orenstein
Auld Lang Syne – Honey & the Bees

I’ll be uploading other episodes of 60 Degrees in the future. I hope you enjoy them. Thanks for listening!

You can now listen to this episode on Mixcloud:

Introducing Bindle #1! Summer 2023

Back in January of 2022, I posted about “Circle,” a poem that I contributed to Jonathan Russell’s quarterly Monkeyshines zine. My partner Toby Hobbes was also a frequent contributor of mixed media to the publication. Since that time, Toby and I got hitched and he has officially changed his name to Tobias Fox Ferrari.

Meanwhile, Monkeyshines has also undergone a name change and is now Bindle Zine. Tobias and I are both happy to be included in the brand-spankin’-new Summer issue, which you can find here. Toby’s artwork “Holding My Tongue” is the centerfold, while my contribution is the essay “100 Centre Street, Part 79.”

100 Centre Street, Part 79

The industrial clock groans through the afternoon in its 46th year on the wall of Part 79.

The Judge plods through a mandatory speech entitled “Jury Selection As Public Service.” His arms make sparing gestures beneath billowing robes. The sound of his own voice still arouses him.

The microphone buzzes through each pregnant pause.

The court stenographer faces the gallery, swiveling slightly in her chair, crossed legs protruding from a skirt cut above the knee. Off to the side, her fingers type furiously as her expressionless gaze floats off high in the air.

Bailiff #1 casually checks his watch and shifts his weight on aching feet. A trickle of sweat snakes down the center of his back, beneath a damp bulletproof vest.

Bailiff #2 flexes a hand to examine chipped blue nail polish. The sleeve of her uniform creeps back to reveal a wrist tattooed with vines and flowers.

Fingers of dust wave frantically from the cooling vent behind the jury box.

Juror #1 stares at the judge with an expression of rapt attention as he contemplates evening plans with his girlfriend.

Juror #5 fights off sleep after a heavy lunch and two draughts. His belt pinches against his protruding flesh.

Juror #6 makes sideways glances at Juror #5, whose aroma she finds most offensive.

Juror #9 slowly, carefully slides his phone out of his pocket in an attempt to check his email.

Juror #11 is awaiting test results and trying not to think about it.

Their bags and briefcases are gathered around their feet, containing both crucial and inconsequential pieces of their real lives, all impatiently waiting to be addressed.

The prosecuting attorney sits in front of a stack of documents and folders, one of which contains graphic crime scene photos that will visibly upset Jurors #2, 6 & 11.

Ziplocked bags labeled “Forensic Evidence” wait inside a cardboard box marked “Case #26294.”

The defense attorney holds up a folder to obstruct the view as he leans in to quietly talk to his client.

The defendant rocks slowly in his chair, the angry voices now muddled by medication.

His brother sits behind him in the gallery. His jaw aches through clenched teeth.

A woman in the gallery clutches a wrinkled picture of her deceased daughter. There is a tissue balled up tightly in her fist. Her husband, in a freshly pressed suit, keeps his arm around her shoulder.

I wrote “100 Centre Street, Part 79” back in 2013 when I was just finishing up a class at The Writer’s Studio. I was summoned for jury duty and ultimately chosen to participate in a six week murder trial that ended in a hung jury. I hadn’t thought about this piece until this Spring, when I received another jury summons – let me tell ya, that 10 years went by fast. This time around I was dismissed on day one, which gave me conflicting feelings about not being picked and wondering why I wasn’t. Was I giving Liz Lemon vibes without even trying?

Congratulations to Jonathan Russell on the revamped zine. You can read it online or get a hard copy by emailing your mailing address to subscribe@bindlezine.com. It’s free!

bin•dle (noun): a bundle of clothes or bedding, stereotypically carried on a stick by runaway children and transients

Yes Virginia, There Is A Spotify Playlist (2022)

*NYC Santas photographed in the late 1970’s by Susan Meiselas*

In fact, the post that you are currently reading has been reworked and updated from the past two Christmas seasons, not to get meta or anything.

I find it interesting that we immerse ourselves in certain pop culture favorites for exactly 6 weeks of the year and then pack them up in mothballs with the ornaments until next year. I mean, Brenda Lee’s “Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree” is currently at #2 on the Billboard Hot 100. Burl Ives and Andy Williams are also in the top 10! Are any of them on your 4th of July playlist? They aren’t on mine.

NBC New York reporter Gabe Pressman’s annual segment on Virginia O’Hanlon’s 1897 letter to the New York Sun Newspaper.

In keeping with this revisit, my other blog posts of Christmas past are back to haunt you like A Christmas Carol, Mr. Scrooge:

My Canine Christmas Tail is a true story about my dog Sunshine, a basset hound with an appetite for tinsel.

Here is my take on the 1987 Motown Christmas Special – which featured very few Motown acts.

I recently updated my post of 10 Things You May Not Know About March of The Wooden Soldiers, the Laurel & Hardy classic holiday film.

Have you watched Christmas In Connecticut yet this year? How about that delivery woman?

Here’s a little backstory on that classic holiday tune “¿Dónde Está Santa Claus?” & Augie Rios, who sang the original version.

Copyright issues kept my 60 Degrees Girl Group Christmas playlist out of commission but now it’s back! I plan to post other episodes of my old radio show in the new year.

If you prefer Spotify, I have this to share:

And so, I’m offering this simple playlist…. for kids from 1 to 92. Unfortunately some of the tracks on these dozen CDs are not on Spotify, but I keep adding songs that would be on the current CD volume… if there was one. And now the playlist is over 16 hours of holiday tunes. I recommend listening on shuffle – there’s something to irritate everyone. Enjoy!

Circle In Monkeyshines, Winter 2022

As some of you may know, my partner Toby Hobbes, aka dudley ghost is a musician / artist who frequently contributes mixed media to Jonathan Russell’s quarterly Monkeyshines zine. I have joined him in contributing to the hot-off-the-press Winter 2022 issue. Here is my contribution:

Circle

In a Queens, New York row house
a mother and her infant begin their daily stroll.
She pushes the carriage forward embarking on their route
in these trying times.

She turns right into the kitchen
then right through the living room
another right into the dining room
where mother and child are momentarily bathed
in a sunbeam through the skylight.

Another right turn and it’s
back through the kitchen again.

There’s a rhythm to the carriage wheels
rolling on and off the area rugs.
The mother chants along in a sing-song voice:
Right turn, right turn, right turn, sun!
Right turn, right turn, right turn, sun!

Around and around they go
through the sunlight every 37 seconds.
The child squints and laughs.
The mother smiles through her song.

This moment in time she will always remember
how she kept her baby safe.
This moment in time she will never recount
to a child too young to remember.

The mother’s efforts will not be in vain.
The child will live for 101 years.
Ultimately exposed by a grandson
who didn’t trust the science.

Lying in an ambulance headed to Elmhurst Hospital
There is some cellular recall.
A flicker of a memory:
Right turn, right turn, right turn, sun.

Monkeyshines | ˈməNGkēˌSHīnz | 1. pl. noun: Mischievous behavior.
2. noun What is probably the finest, best example of a zine in existence.

Subscribe to print edition: subscribe@monkeyshines.media

A little backstory….
I walk my dog in the alley behind a block of these row houses in Queens, New York. In the early months of the pandemic, I would see this woman pushing a stroller around inside her house. She would repeatedly pass by the dining room window, always entering on the right and exiting to the left, moving through a sunbeam from the skylight as she walked the stroller around and around. This image stayed with me as such an interesting symbol of the strange time we were living in…. this mother did not want to risk taking her baby outside, but infants are often calmed by the movement of a stroller, so she just kept circling around in the house, day after day.

*My grandmother and great-grandmother, Woodhaven, Queens (1918)*

As comparisons were made to the 1918 flu pandemic, it occurred to me that my grandmother was born in April of that year in Woodhaven, Queens. This is just a mile or two from where I live now. My great-grandparents lived in a row house and, with the birth of my grandmother, had three daughters under the age of 6. And yet there was never a single story passed down about how they made it through or what life was like at that time.

Back to the present: my partner and I see this guy around our neighborhood who lives on the next block in the house where he grew up. When the pandemic hit, he was caring for his elderly mother and was especially concerned about her health. As time progressed, it became clear that he was anti-mask and anti-vaxx. “For your mother’s sake, if nothing else,” I said; “you really should get vaccinated.” We started to avoid talking to him when we would see his stupid maskless face heading towards us.

His mother died last month. I am unclear on the circumstances.

The Comfort of Repetition & The Ultimate Christmas Playlist

*Department store Santas, 1948 (photo by Nina Leen)*

I am not alone in saying that I always take comfort in the annual repetition of the holidays – revisiting holiday-themed music, film, television… and now internet posts as well. In fact, this post is a reworking of one I posted last year, not to get meta or anything.

I find it interesting that we immerse ourselves in certain pop culture favorites for exactly 6 weeks of the year and then pack them up in mothballs with the ornaments until next year. I mean, Bing Crosby, Brenda Lee and Johnny Mathis are rock stars from Thanksgiving through New Years. Are any of them on your 4th of July playlist? They aren’t on mine.

The film A Christmas Story has an even shorter (Elf on the) shelf life. We binge-watch the repeated broadcast for exactly 24 hours each year. I own it on Blu-ray and I’m not sure why: I have never opened it. To pop it in at any other time feels like a betrayal.

In keeping with this revisiting, blog posts of Christmas past are back to haunt you like A Christmas Carol, Mr. Scrooge:

This was my Canine Christmas Tail – a true story about my dog Sunshine and her appetite for tinsel.

Here is my take on the 1987 Motown Christmas Special – which featured few Motown acts.

When March of The Wooden Soldiers celebrated its 85th anniversary in 2019, I posted 10 things you may not know about this classic holiday film.

Have you watched Christmas In Connecticut yet this year? How about that delivery woman?

Copyright issues kept my 60 Degrees Girl Group Christmas playlist out of commission but now it’s back! I plan to post other episodes of my old radio show in the new year.

If you prefer Spotify, I have this to share:

Way back in 2002, when Limewire was a thing and people listened to music on silvery discs, I started creating Christmas CD mixes that I would mail out or give to people. These were received with a combination of feigned delight, veiled indifference and deafening silence. None of these CDs had a pressing of more than 20 copies. I’d like to call them “much sought after” – but no, that’s not really the case, although every once in a while, someone really got into them and would ask for copies of other volumes.

And so, I’m offering this simple playlist…. for kids from 1 to 92. Unfortunately many of the tracks on these dozen CDs are not on Spotify, but I keep adding songs that would be on the current CD volume… if there was one. And now the playlist is over 14 hours of holiday tunes. I recommend listening on shuffle – there’s something to irritate everyone. Enjoy!

The Comfort of Repetition & The Ultimate Christmas Playlist

I am not alone in saying that I always take comfort in the annual repetition of the holidays – revisiting holiday-themed music, film, television… and now internet posts as well. This feeling is in overdrive this year, as I occupy myself at home and skip other annual holiday traditions that involve leaving my apartment. The Rockefeller Center tree looks very nice on my television – and that view will have to suffice this year, thank you very much.

I feel bad for this year’s Rockefeller Center tree – sacrificed to become the most famous Christmas shrub in the world at a time when nobody is allowed to actually go near it. It’s the Just Sam of Christmas trees, which makes the displaced owl Ryan Seacrest.

I find it interesting that we immerse ourselves in certain pop culture favorites for exactly 6 weeks of the year and then pack them up in mothballs with the ornaments until next year. I mean, Bing Crosby, Brenda Lee and Johnny Mathis are rock stars from Thanksgiving through New Years. Are any of them on your 4th of July playlist? They aren’t on mine.

The film A Christmas Story has an even shorter (Elf on the) shelf life. We binge-watch the repeated broadcast for exactly 24 hours each year. I own it on Blu-ray and I’m not sure why: I have never opened it. To pop it in at any other time feels like a betrayal.

In keeping with this revisiting, blog posts of Christmas past are back to haunt you like A Christmas Carol, Mr. Scrooge:

This was my Canine Christmas Tail – a true story about my dog Sunshine and her appetite for tinsel.

Here is my take on the 1987 Motown Christmas Special – which featured few Motown acts.

Last year marked the 85th anniversary of March of The Wooden Soldiers – here are 10 things you may not know about the holiday classic.

Have you watched Christmas In Connecticut yet this year? How about that delivery woman?

Copyright issues kept my 60 Degrees Girl Group Christmas playlist out of commission but now it’s back! I plan to post other episodes of my old radio show in the new year.

If you prefer Spotify, I have this to share:

Way back in 2002, when Limewire was a thing and people listened to music on silvery discs, I started creating Christmas CD mixes that I would mail out or give to people. These were received with a combination of feigned delight, veiled indifference and deafening silence. None of these CDs had a pressing of more than 20 copies. I’d like to call them “much sought after” – but no, that’s not really the case, although every once in a while, someone really got into them and would ask for copies of other volumes.

Sunshine and Tinsel: A Canine Christmas Tail

I wrote a story/poem back in 2006 recounting an incident with the family dog when I was 4 years old. I gave copies to my family in their Christmas stockings that year. A couple of years after that when I was hosting 60 Degrees on East Village radio, I read it as part of my Holiday episode. Now it has been posted on the GoodMenProject website for this holiday season. I hope you enjoy it!

scan

‘Twas morning in the Ferrari house
two days Christmas past
Life was getting back
to normal at last

Mom’s in the kitchen
brewing a cup
Dad’s in the bathroom
shaving his scruff

I crept out of bed
little 4-year-old me
To revisit the presents
that Santa brought me

My sisters, still sleeping
they hadn’t a clue
Of the calamitous doings
about to ensue…

Our dog was named Sunshine
half beagle, at most
The other half basset hound:
Dumb as a post.

This brilliant young pup
found a holiday treat:
She thought that the tinsel
was something to eat

Soon she’d get queasy
lowered eyes to the floor
Rocking forward and backward
5 minutes or more

The “extended heave warning”
gave time to react
We’d all run for newspapers
or brown paper sacks

More often than not
we would catch her in time
Sparing our rugs
of the glittery slime

We’d gone all through Christmas
playing this game
But this morning was special
not more of the same

She had eaten more tinsel
It did not agree
There she stood: heaving
right under the tree

All of our presents
were still on display
Right where we’d opened them
on Christmas Day

I entered the room
and clearly could see
Sunshine’s next targeted
barf casualty:

My sister Jen’s brand new
Fisher Price Zoo
Was about to be covered
in silvery goo

I had to think fast:
What can I do?
I can’t let her spew
on the Animal Zoo!

I got on all fours
I crawled under the tree
Grabbed her by the collar
and led her towards me

It seemed like slow motion
but safety seemed near
I began to stand up
when I thought I was clear…

But I wasn’t.

Ornaments shattering
down came the tree
On the stomach-sick dog
and pajama-clad me

Out of the living room
there arose such a clatter
My family ran in to see
what was the matter

From under the tree
they heard screaming and crying
My mother envisioned me
bleeding or dying

Quick as a flash
my dad lifted the tree
I was curled in a ball
with the dog beside me

He started to scold me
as he always did
My mother said
“Come on! Lay off of the kid!”

Pine needles were scattered
broken bulbs, too
But I only sustained
a small scratch or two

The tree went back up
a few ornaments lighter
The rope that secured it
was fastened much tighter

My act of heroics
became quite a joke
To share with the relatives
and neighborhood folk

They would all laugh
I’d join in too
At the sacrifice made
for the Animal Zoo

With all the excitement
as best I recall…
The dog never did
get sick after all!

Category: Poetry

Dusting Off The Holiday Favorites (2024)

Bindle Zine #2 Is Here! Winter 2024

Dusting Off The Holiday Favorites (2023)

A 60 Degrees Girl Group Christmas

Introducing Bindle #1! Summer 2023

Yes Virginia, There Is A Spotify Playlist (2022)

Circle In Monkeyshines, Winter 2022

The Comfort of Repetition & The Ultimate Christmas Playlist

The Comfort of Repetition & The Ultimate Christmas Playlist

Sunshine and Tinsel: A Canine Christmas Tail

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