Paul Cadmus & Jared French, Fire Island, PaJaMa (1940)
I have previously written about The PaJaMa collective’s Fire Island summers. They were frequently joined by fellow artists George Platt Lynes and Bernard Perlin, as well as a parade of friends and lovers, performers and literary types from their New York social scene. They were almost exclusively attractive young gay men who served as models and muses for the artists.
Chuck Howard & Ted Starkowski, FI, PaJaMa, 1951
10 of these men are profiled in the piece – several of whom have previously been featured here. The others will inevitably get more in-depth profiles in the future: José “Pete” Martinez Forrest Thayer Donald Windham & Sandy Campbell Jonathan Tichenor Randy Jack Ted Starkowski Chuck Howard Jensen Yow & Jack Fontan
Paul Cadmus: Two Boys On The Beach (1938) / Two Boys On The Beach 2 (1939)
Margaret French, “The Moon by Day”, 1939
Thanks to Robert Bonanno for reaching out and John Dempsey for the feedback and formatting!
Back in 2018, I posted two collections of artist/photographer Don Herron’s Tub Shots, a series of images featuring the famous and near-famous posing in their bathtubs. This coincided with an exhibition of 65 photographs at the Daniel Cooney Gallery here in NYC. The blog posts (Pt. 1 and Pt. II) still garner a considerable amount of traffic, as well as a third collection posted 2 years ago. Now we have a fourth selection of the collection: a Christopher Street magazine feature from April, 1980 and recollections from the subjects.
The April, 1980 issue of Christopher Street, with football player David Kopay sharing the cover with a very nice Tom of Finland illustration.
Among those featured in the Christopher Street layout was artist Mel Odom, who shared memories of the experience in Pt.1.
Ronald Chase is a San Francisco-based artist, photographer, educator, independent filmmaker and opera designer.
Demetrie Kabbaz (1944-2014) was a painter known for his highly stylized portraits of Marilyn Monroe and other iconics of pop culture.
The article mentions a 1981 exhibit at Jehu gallery in San Francisco. The tub shot of gallery owner Ron Jehu (1937-2007) is also included alongside actress Mink Stole and popular San Francisco DJ Sheila Rene (1939-1998).
Writer Felice Picano: “Don came to my duplex at 317 E 11th Street, now owned by Annie Leibovitz and he was a sweet man, so he climbed onto the back of the bathtub where he was cramped but also supported by two walls and he shot a bunch of photos.
“He then asked if I could recommend others to shoot, and I sent him to either George Stavrinos or to Victor Hugo (Halston’s lover). By the time Don was done, he had gotten a pretty full and accurate portrait of Bohemia In New York City in the period. And, as I wrote in my book Art & Sex in Greenwich Village, Don captured what was probably the last unified downtown NYC bohemian community.”
Peter Hujar (1934-1987) was a photographer primarily known for his portraiture. His photo is featured on the same page as fellow photographer Robert Mapplethorpe (1946-1989). Annie Leibovitz would later recall, “Peter and I shared a distaste for Robert. One of the reasons is that Peter thought Robert was silly, you know, which he was. And he thought that Robert copied him in certain ways, which of course he did.”
Belle de Jour was New York’s most notorious dominatrix in the 1970’s and 1980’s. She ran a successful commercial dungeon and a weekly S&M theatre in her midtown loft. Submissive men, suburban couples, and thrill seekers were known to fill the bleachers to watch Belle and her entourage perform.
Don Herron‘s own Tubshot can be seen in this ad for a 1982 gallery showing:
Sur Rodney Surrecounts his tub shot: “We used the bathroom of Cynthia Chiarulli’s loft for the photo shoot, which was styled by Suzan Silver, a jewelry maker who made her wares from mirrored plastics she purchased on Canal Street. She provided the lipstick and sprayed the sides of my hair silver.
“I used the photo for the cover of my first book of poems… I organized an exhibition of Donald’s prints at the Tribeca club Stilwende and also showcased Suzan’s jewelry. I also screened a new version of my TV talk show – the All New Sur Rodney Sur Show. Sometime after the event I produced a version of my talk show where I interviewed Holly Woodlawn in a bubble bath for a photo shoot with Donald in a television studio in Chelsea.”
Valery Oisteanu: “I remember being introduced to Don by Timothy Greenfield and Don was part of the East Village Arts scene. He was very friendly. I was writing a monthly column at that time in Cover Arts magazine called ‘The Wall Patrol’ about art galleries…. Don took a photo of me naked wearing a Mylar face mask and there are also butt plugs as a humorous prop.”
Colette Justine (aka Colette Lumiere) is a multi-media artist who is considered a pioneering street performance artist and “photographic tableau vivant.” She is also known for playing with male/female gender roles through different guises and personas.
Käthe Kruse, performer/artist: “I was staying with John Heys when he was photographed by Don. When we met in John’s apartment and he saw my hair, he asked to photograph me too. So after the shoot with John, I got off my clothes and laid down in the bathtub and he arranged my hair. Then he climbed up to the edges of the bathtub and started to photograph. He told me that he always takes the same number of photos (eighteen) and then he stopped. I love these kind of concepts. When I was back in Berlin I received one print and after all these years it is still hanging in my home. I love the photo and I am very happy and thankful to have been photographed by Don.”
Photographer/visual artist Christopher Makos (1980)
Stanton Weiss (1952-2022): “New York in the 1970’s was an unparalleled place. There was an edge to it and a feeling that anything could happen. I had a seemingly conservative job working for Dick Ridge, the renowned interior designer. The phone rang. ‘Stanton darling, it’s Pat. Don Herron wants to photograph me and I need to use Dick’s tub! My bathroom is being painted.’ Pat was Pat Loud, America’s first reality star of PBS’ An American Family. She is a stunning woman, and unlike other reality stars, she is the epitome of grace and style. She posed with calla lilies and then Don asked me if I would like to be photographed as well.”
Pat Loud (1926-2021): “I recall Don calling me to say he was doing a series of photographs of people in their bathtubs and would I pose for him. I told him I didn’t do bathtubs but he assured me that nudity was not his objective and I could use all the bubble bath I wanted…. I don’t know whose idea the calla lilies were that seem so dominant and strategically placed and yet so out of place for such a photo.”
Dick Ridge (1928-2021): “I received a phone call from Pat Loud, who asked me if I would pose along with other people of the moment for a picture in my bathtub. Having just returned from Southampton, I had a pretty good tan and decided ‘Why not?'”
Poet Michael Ratcliff, Performer/Fashion designer Katy K (Kattelman), Legendary nightlife performer Joey Arias.
Marcus Leatherdale (1952-2022) was a Canadian portrait photographer who was personally and professionally associated with Robert Mapplethorpe.
Michael Musto: “Don contacted me with the idea of photographing me in my bathtub. I thought that was a novel idea, especially since I usually took showers, not baths. He wanted the photo to express my eccentric side, so I wore the shower cap, shades and white lipstick. I found Don to be likeably quirky and creative. This was a time of horror because of the mounting epidemic, but it was also a time when LGBT culture, nightlife, and solidarity were on the rise. I used my Village Voice column as a venue for both anger and humor at the same time, while also expressing myself via fashion and nightlife antics. Don’s photo captured my multiple moods.”
Hard to believe but it has been a year since the last Artist’s Muse profile – these are men who inspired and were subjects of 20th Century painters, photographers, and other artists. It was last January that we cast the spotlight on Jose “Pete” Martinez. Chuck Howard was profiled in September, 2022 and is currently being featured in George Platt Lynes photographs on exhibition at Childs Gallery in Boston. If you read our post and then take a look at their press release, you might surmise the primary source of their biographical material.
Our latest Artist’s Muse is William Weslow, a ballet dancer with an extraordinarily long career who was also a Broadway performer, artist, and masseur. He posed for George Platt Lynes’ camera during their brief relationship, and was later involved with choreographer Jerome Robbins. He posed nude for dance photographer Kenn Duncan when he was in his 50’s, looking as fit as in photos from 25 years earlier.
The Columbian, Vancouver, WA (6/7/44)
William Edward Weslow was born on March 20, 1925 in Seattle, Washington. His mother had been a Ziegfeld dancer, and he soon followed her lead. As a teen, Weslow studied with famed dance instructor Mary Ann Wells. His 1943 draft registration card lists him as a student at Broadway High School in Seattle. Later that year, he joined the Navy Coast Guard and was stationed in the Alaska.
Annie Get Your Gun (1946) Ethel Merman with Weslow on the right (Photo: Eileen Darby)
After his stint in the Navy, Weslow headed to New York to continue his ballet study. He joined the Ballet Theatre, but soon turned his attention to the Broadway stage. He was in the original Broadway casts of two Ethel Merman vehicles: Annie Get Your Gun and Call Me Madam, the latter choreographed by Jerome Robbins. Besides touring companies, he also appeared on Broadway in the original casts of The Girl In Pink Tights and Wonderful Town with Rosalind Russell.
Weslow photographed by George Platt Lynes (1951)
It was around 1951 that Weslow had his brief relationship with photographer George Platt Lynes. The affair was so fleeting that it did not garner a mention in Allen Ellenzweig’s recent Lynes biography. In David Leddick’s Intimate Companions, it is summed up in a single anecdote:
Dancer William Weslow, who had a transitory but more serious than usual romance with George Platt Lynes in the early 1950’s, evidently treated the photographer to the kind of temperament Platt Lynes had displayed to his admirers in the past. Dining at Platt Lynes’s apartment before a performance, Weslow had requested a steak because of the demanding dancing that was to be done that evening. Instead, Platt Lynes served him an elaborate veal dish, which the young dancer flung against the wall before leaving in search of a steak.
Lynes’s photographs of Weslow are also rare, due in part to the paper negative process that the photographer was experimenting with at the time. This cost-cutting technique gave the photos a quality that have been described as either “ethereal” or “muddy.”
When he wasn’t on stage, Weslow enjoyed painting and sketching, with an affinity for exotic birds, both real and imagined. His work garnered several gallery showings through the years.
Buffalo Courier Express (4/1/51) &New York Post Star (7/9/71)
New York Daily News(1/1/54)& (11/6/54)
Weslowwas a soloist at Radio City Music Hall, New York Daily News (6/20/56)
In 1955, he originated the role of Levi Stolzfuss in the Amish musical Plain and Fancy. After nearly 10 years in musicals, he felt the need for a change. When the show closed the following year, he rejoined the Ballet Theatre for a brief stint before settling in at the New York City Ballet for the rest of his dance career.
Like his relationship with Lynes, Weslow’s dalliance with choreographer Jerome Robbins was so fleeting that most biographers fail to mention it. It is worth noting as it caused friction between the two while they continued to work together. Weslow is not alone in saying that Robbins could be vindictive, manipulating his dancers because of personal grudges, often pitting them against each other.
Weslow also caught the eye of New York City Ballet Director Lincoln Kirstein. He rebuffed his advances, stating “I don’t find you attractive, Mr. Kirstein.” “Who asked you to find me attractive?” Kirstein snapped, “I was just asking you to come over to the house for a few drinks and stay over.”
Later, the two had a chance meeting at a gay bathhouse. Weslow greeted him loudly with “Why Lincoln, hello! Come here often?” The married Kirstein did not respond and left the establishment.
1963 Ad for New York City Ballet
1963: Weslow & Suki Schorer in Variations from Don Sebastian (photo: Martha Swope)
1964: Weslow & Sara Leland in La Valse (photo: Martha Swope)
1964: William Weslow & Carol Sumner are the dancers in the first of 4 Temperaments – NYCB filmed for Canadian Television
1965: New York City Ballet rehearsal for Don Quixote (l-r) Nicholas Magallanes, George Balanchine, Richard Rapp, Jillana, William Weslow (photo: Martha Swope)
Camden Courier Post, New Jersey (3/8/66)
1966: Weslow & Marnee Morris in A Midsummer Night’s Dream (photo: Martha Swope)
1967: Weslow & Leslie Ruchala in Don Quixote (photo: Martha Swope)
In the mid 1960’s, Weslow began cultivating a side career as a masseur, working on fellow ballet dancers including Alicia Alonso and Edward Villella, who credited Weslow’s massages with extending his career by several years. Weslow makes a brief appearance as his masseur in the 1968 documentary Man Who Dances: Edward Villella.
In 1972, Weslow was dismissed from the New York City Ballet. He was 47 years-old and had been with the company for 14 years. In the book I Remember Balanchine, he recounts Balanchine telling him, “You’re too old. You have to leave company. We only want young, pretty dancers here. Old dancers – you see, when they get old they should just go away and die. This is what they should do, die. Because you’re not pretty. No youth… Besides, dear, you’re not going to commit suicide, are you?”
He replied; “To please you, no, I wouldn’t, Mr. Balanchine.”
“And that was that,” Weslow writes; “He didn’t say ‘You have been a good dancer’ or anything. It was just ‘Go away. Go away.’ I was close to tears. It was a terrible blow because I adored the company.”
Weslow’s massage work helped him to keep a connection to the dance world while easing into the next phase of his life, as he became known as “masseur to the stars.”
1976: Weslow was 51 years old when he was photographed by Kenn Duncan
When former ballet dancer Anne Byrne (aka Mrs. Dustin Hoffman) was profiled in the New York Daily News, her masseur William Weslow was there to lend a hand or two. (1/22/78)
William Weslow (1997)
When interviewed later in life, a reporter recalled “He seemed to love Maria Tallchief and had a poster of her on the wall. He also had kind words for Allegra Kent. He could be quite sarcastic, compassionate, cranky and deeply moving remembering certain people and other things.”
Allegra Kent called him “the funniest comedian ever” while also noting his empathy for others. He could also be quite brutal in his assessment of those he had worked with. Of Kirstein he said, “There was cruelty in Lincoln.” Jerome Robbins, he told a biographer “should have been cut up in small pieces and burned in a microwave somewhere because he was so horrible to me.”
William Weslow (2000)
While photographing male nudes for his 2011 book Shades of Love, photographer Demitris Yeros recounts how a naked octogenarian William Weslow would repeatedly interrupt the photo shoot, arms waving to chase the pigeons from his veranda.
William Weslow passed away at age 87 on January 29, 2013 in New York City. He was remembered in a Dance Magazine article as “A flamboyant personality with a sassy comeback for any remark directed his way…. (he) was as colorful off stage as on.”
In August of 2020, porn star Koldo Gorantweeted about three fellow performers who had recently died. Goran’s tweet was the only public notice that one of them, Dani Rivera, had been murdered. “I realize nobody talks about it, we are unprotected and forgotten;” Goran tweeted “We are humans, people, enough of contempt.”
Most gay news outlets choose to ignore the passing of all but the biggest names in the adult film industry. Porn companies also seem reluctant to broadcast the death of a performer who is still on their roster, forever young and willing in their website content. An obit is a real boner killer, ya know? Why jeopardize the profit margin?
Additionally, performers who abandon their porn personas and return to life under their real names often pass away unnoticed by former employers and scene partners.
This year’s list contains no people of color. Why? Is it that none have passed on or that they haven’t been reported yet? For this reason – and due to continued interest from fans – there are ongoing updates to the lists of porn star passings in 2020, 2021, and 2022.
We remember those that were lost in 2023 to prove Koldo Goran wrong – they have not been forgotten.
1) Ed Fury was not a gay porn star per se, but he was as close as the 1950’s would allow. The bodybuilder began his career posing nude for photographers Bob Mizer and Bruce of LA and appearing in posing strap film loops for AMG and Apollo studios. While his photos graced the covers of many physique magazines, major Hollywood film roles remained elusive. Most of his film and television appearances in the 1950’s were uncredited bit parts.
It was in the Italian “sword and sandal” films of the 1960’s that he found his greatest mainstream success, starring in Colossus And The Amazon Queen and as the title character in three Ursus films, among others. Back in the US, he continued to work primarily on television until his retirement in the late 1970’s.
Fury passed away at age 94 on February 24, 2023.
2) Eric Manchester, aka Ronald Liter was one of the top names in gay porn during the second half of the 1980’s. He was featured in dozens of films for the top studios of the day: Falcon, Vivid, HIS, Catalina and others. He appeared in Head of the Class and John Travis’s Powerline,both profiled here.
3) Trevor Laster aka Ethan Ewers passed away at age 31 on March 30, 2023. Photographer James Franklin posted on Twitter: “My dear sweet friend @thetrevorlaster committed suicide yesterday in Eugene, Oregon. His family is devastated. ” Trevor started doing porn at Helix Studios in 2010. Over the next 12 years, he worked for Raging Stallion, Broke Straight Boys, Chaos Men, Kink, Next Door Studios, Southern Strokes, Men and others. In 2019 he shifted his focus to more fan-based platforms like Onlyfans while still making occasional studio appearances.
Laster was passionate about fitness and worked as a personal trainer. He also garnered modeling work with brands like Andrew Christian and photographers Michael Stokes and James Franklin .
4) David Hurles first appeared in Guild Press gay porn magazines of the late 1960’s before moving behind the camera at the company. He went on to create Old Reliable Studios, an iconic record of “rough trade” through the 1970’s & 80’s. Originally from Cincinnati, Hurles made his way to California, where AMG’s Bob Mizer became his mentor. While Mizer focused on the more conventional prototype of beefcake, Hurles, as the Boyculture blog pointed out “fetishized the masculine and dangerous aspects… His work is identifiable from a mile away, a collection of seedy, weedy men who looked like they arrived for their shoots fresh from prison — or on their way there.”
Although the studio was very lucrative at the time, mismanagement and internet services were its downfall, and Hurles fell upon hard times. In 2008, he was permanently disabled by a stroke just as his back catalogue was getting rediscovered.
In 2010, a glossy book highlighting the best of Old Reliable was published. Outcast: David Hurles Old Reliable In Living Color featured Hurles’ best photography. A gallery showing of his photos was curated by his friend Dian Hansen and John Waters at New York City’s Marianne Boesky Gallery. The following year, Hurles was one of the subjects of John Waters’ book Role Models. He was reportedly delighted by the belated appreciation of his work.
After years of failing health, Hurles died in a California nursing home on 4/11/23, aged 78.
Factory Video owner Scott Morris sometimes took a turn in front of the camera, including a scene pictured here with Sam Ritter (aka Stephen Geoffreys).
5) Scott Morris, aka Robert Todd Fulton was a founder and sometime performer at Factory video. He passed away on April 14, 2023 in his Cathedral City, CA home after a year long-battle with cancer of the tongue, head, and neck. He was 68 years old.
In 1998, Morris founded San Francisco Fetish Factory, an online fetish wear website that prompted an expansion into a gay male adult video company, Factory Video Productions, in the early 2000’s.
His work as an activist dated back to his teen years in post-Stonewall New York. Morris continued his work as a gay community activist, DJ and promoter in NY, Ft. Lauderdale, LA, Palm Springs and San Francisco. He was survived by his partner of 31 years, Gordon Fulton (aka Gord Reece).
6) Casey Tanner aka Slade passed away on April 15, 2023 in San Diego at the age of 28. His partner confirmed that Casey had been suffering from health problems for years. His organs began failing after he contracted pneumonia a month prior. Originally from Ohio, he worked with Helix Studios between 2013-2016 before retiring from the adult industry and moving to San Diego with his partner around 2017.
Helix model Liam Riley posted on social media: “Casey Tanner was my best friend. He was one of the funniest, sweetest, caring humans. He was sweet enough to help me move all the way across the country — if that says anything for the person he was. He was always down for an adventure! I hope he knows he was loved by so many people. Thank you for being there when I needed you. I’ll keep a piece of this friendship with me for life. Fly high.”
One of the biggest stars at Helix, the Texas native won many awards and appeared in over 100 scenes before retiring in 2020. He then worked behind the scenes at Helix until earlier this year.
8) The porn world was shocked by the brutal murder of 52-year-old William Futral, owner of The Guy Site. Model Ludvig (aka Richard Lam) was arrested and charged with the murder several days later. Lam and Futral had been living together for several months. They reportedly had an extremely volatile relationship that began after Lam started working for The Guy Site in 2020.
Just for Fans owner Dominic Ford posted on social media, “I am absolutely gutted to hear of the murder of Bill… one of the kindest, gentlest people in our industry. He was always humble, appreciative, and soft-spoken. I’ve known him for 13 years. There was never a nicer man.”
None of the news stories have carried a single photo of the victim, choosing instead to focus on the muscular (alleged) assailant. The Guy Site is now shuttered.
9) Bryan Knight, the 6’6″ 300lb “gentle giant” died of a heart attack in his sleep on September 3, 2023. He was 39 years old. Although he had a complete physical two weeks before, his family had a history of heart ailments and his enlarged heart went undetected, according to Snake, his partner of 20 years.
Robby Lewis of Luxxxe Studios shared the news online a few days later: “Adult film actor and generally good human being Bryan Knight went to bed on Sunday, September 3rd and did not wake up. Everyone at Luxxxe Studios is saddened by this loss, especially JD Daniels, who was a close personal friend of Bryan’s.”
Knight began his adult film career in 2012 with Bear Films. Over the next decade he would work with Maverick Men, Pride Studios, Nasty Daddy, RawFuckClub and many others.
Knight was also a talented comic book artist. In The Velvet Collar, he drew on real-life experiences to create something that celebrated him and the people he loved in the adult film world.
10) Jason Nikas 51, died in Las Vegas after a long battle with cancer on Sept. 18, 2023. The Arcadia, California native performed in gay and bi films under many different names – Johnny Guetar and Jason Wikes were just two of them. In trans roles, he was Ann Drogeny (get it?). For his work behind the scenes in porn productions, he used his real name: Patryk Strait, believe it or not. Nikas racked up more than 120 titles between 1992 and 2012.
Every once in a while there’s a performer whose face seems to betray them with a glimpse of an underlying air of… what? Sorrow? Pain? Something that reveals the scars of a life that has led them to sex work. Their time in the biz is usually short. The first time I ever remember seeing this was in the early 90’s with Jason Nikas. There was something in his facial expressions that evoked the word “shattered.” But unlike others, he stuck around for nearly two decades, going through the motions in scene after scene, never elevating any of them beyond the B-grade companies he worked for, which included Vivid, Leisure Time, and Robert Prion’s Galaxy Studios. Mickey Skee’s tribute to his friend and coworker gives a more well-rounded picture of someone who seems to have had a happier life than the one he exuded on screen.
11) Shane Erickson, aka Eric Anthony Crew was 38 years old when he died on September 26, 2023. His boyfriend Michael posted on a GoFundMe page “after searching for him for two days I finally found him… unresponsive and long beyond aid on the floor of a hotel room… I don’t even know what to say, he had been struggling for a long time with demons from his past. I did everything I could to be there for him and I couldn’t save him…”
The San Diego native made his first film appearance in 2005 and over the next 8 years worked for Falcon, Jet Set, College Dudes, Next Door, Kink, SX and other outlets.
12) Hank Hightower was mainstream gay porn’s quintessential leather bear in the 1990’s. The versatile performer made his debut in 1993 and worked with Stallion, Rawhide, Catalina, Vivid, Zeus, Brush Creek, Jet Set and many other studios over a 15 year period.
His friend Jeff Yarbrough announced on Facebook: “Henry Robert Hightower passed away today, Nov. 1, 2023, at 3:30am. As per his wishes, he died at home surrounded by his two pups. He passed peacefully.” The California native was 57 years old and had been battling cancer.
Last week, Queerty posted an article proclaiming, “The Hallmark Channel is gayer than ever this year!” This is followed by a massive list of exactly THREE movies that they consider gay. The first one, Catch Me If You Claus stars Luke Macfarlane in his 16th movie for the network. Yes, the Bros co-star is gay in real life, but the character in the film is not. Kudos to him for continuing to be cast in straight roles, but… do we then count this as a gay film?
The second movie on their list, Christmas on Cherry Lane is an ensemble piece that includes a gay couple. Jonathan Bennett, Hallmark’s go-to gay actor for gay roles plays opposite Vincent Rodriguez III. It airs December 9th.
The third film, Friends and Family Christmas centers on lesbian friends (Humberly Gonzalez & Ali Liebert) who must pose as a couple for the holidays… and you’ll never guess what happens! This one premieres on December 17th.
So there you have it. As a reminder: The Hallmark Channel is premiering 42 – FORTY-TWO – new Hallmark Christmas movies this season. And we’re supposed to kvell because TWO of them are gay-ish? Honey, please.
Since 2020, a few of these gay disposable holiday films have dribbled out every holiday season– not just on The Hallmark Channel but also on Lifetime, Netflix and elsewhere. I’m not here to crap on the genre, but there is a conveyor belt feel to these films. With the similar actors, sets, and plots, it can be hard to remember which one had which fading star of yesteryear playing the mom. Obviously if I didn’t get some enjoyment out of watching them, I wouldn’t tune in. But I don’t go all in for them, either. Please give me some combination of humor, wit, chemistry between the romantic leads, decent acting and/or a plot twist and I’ll stick with it. Maybe I will watch it again next year, if I can remember the title and what channel it was on.
Here’s a list I put together last year to try to keep these movies straight, so to speak. It’s not definitive and I apologize for any omissions.
1) The Xmas Setup (2020) – Lifetime
Older star playing a parent: Fran Drescher Romantic chemistry? Yes – this real-life couple generate a believable amount of TV movie warmth.
The Christmas Setup follows the story of New York lawyer Hugo (Ben Lewis) who heads to Milwaukee with his best friend Madelyn (Ellen Wong) to spend the holidays with his mom Kate (Fran Drescher). Kate arranges for Hugo to run into Patrick (Blake Lee), his high school friend and secret crush, who has recently returned after a successful stint in Silicon Valley. Hijinks begin.
2) Dashing In December (2020) – Paramount+
Older star playing a parent: Andie McDowell Romantic chemistry? Some. I guess. It’s an enjoyable movie but I don’t see these boys staying together.
After Wyatt (Peter Porte) comes home for the holidays to try to convince his mother (Andie MacDowell) to sell the family’s Colorado ranch, he finds romance with the dashing new ranch hand (Juan Pablo Di Pace) who dreams of saving the property and its magical Winter Wonderland attraction.
It’s a nice surprise to see Andie McDowell here, but I am reminded of when comedienne Paula Poundstone once described her face as “an egg with a smile drawn on it.”
3) Happiest Season (2020) – Netflix
Older stars playing the parents: Mary Steenburgen & Victor Garber Sapphic chemistry? Yes, but not between the two that we’re supposed to root for.
This is the one with Kristen Stewart, Aubrey Plaza & Dan Levy. Stewart’s girlfriend invites her home for Christmas but fails to mention that she’s not out to her family and they must pretend to be friends. Hilarity ensues. A cut above Lifetime/Hallmark movies but I’m including it because it satisfies the same itch. Same genre, but overall higher quality thanks to the cast and Clea Duvall’s writing & direction. One caveat: I wanted Kristen Stewart’s character to end up with Aubrey Plaza. But that doesn’t fit the formula, does it?
4) The Christmas House (2020) – Hallmark
Older stars playing the parents: Treat Williams & Sharon Lawrence Romantic chemistry? The gay married couple is peripheral here, so it’s not required. They’re fine.
This was the first Hallmark movie to feature a gay couple, even if they are supporting players. Jonathan Bennett is the gay son with Brad Harder as the devoted husband. They want to adopt kids – that’s their side plot. The straight brother has the romantic interest storyline, while the parents have decided to give up their traditional grand ole “Christmas House” which, like all the other houses in these movies, looks like a realtor’s model home with decorations recently purchased at Kohl’s.
5) The Christmas House 2: Deck Those Halls (2021) – Hallmark
Older stars playing the parents: Same as above. R.I.P. Treat Williams. ☹ Romantic chemistry? Maybe I’m being a sap, but this couple grew on me.
The sequel to the above film. This time the brothers are competing on a reality show to create the best Christmas House. It’s harmless fun.
6) Clusterfünke Christmas (2021) – Comedy Central
“A no-nonsense hotel exec buys a family inn in northern Maine, but the town’s Christmas spirit clashes with her cosmopolitan values.” This one’s actually a spoof of the genre written by and co-starring Rachel Dratch & Ana Gasteyer as the innkeepers. Out actor Cheyenne Jackson plays the straight romantic lead. If Queerty can claim the Luke Macfarlane movie as gay, then we get this one, if not for Jackson, then just for pure camp value.
7) Under The Christmas Tree (2021) – Lifetime
Older stars playing the parents: Wendy Crewson & Enrico Colantoni. Ricki Lake is also on hand. Sapphic Chemistry? Yes
As described in Vulture: Lifetime’s new and first-ever lesbian Christmas movie is a legitimately good queer film in which the main character, Alma (Elise Bauman), is not only accepted by her Maine-based, small-Christmas-business-owner parents for being a lesbian but encouraged to fall in love with out-of-town stranger Charlie (Tattiawna Jones). Cheesy as it is, the premise is as sweet as it is predictable with plenty of fun, memorable scenes and unexpected moments thrown in.”
8) Single All The Way (2021) – Netflix
Older stars playing the parents: Kathy Najimy & Barry Bostwick with Jennifer Coolidge as the diva aunt. Romantic chemistry? Yes
Peter (Michael Urie) finds out his boyfriend is married. They break up and he invites his best friend home with him for Christmas to pretend they’re a couple. His mom tries to set him up with Luke Macfarlane anyway. You’ll never guess who he ends up with. This one beat out Under The Christmas Tree to win the GLAAD Media Award for Outstanding TV Movie. Probably the best of the bunch, and not just for this monologue:
Older stars playing the parents: NONE Romantic chemistry? Not that I recall.
Another Hallmark movie with resident gay Jonathan Bennett. Now he’s a workaholic from the big city who gets stuck watching his sister’s kids because of a snowstorm and she’s pregnant and going into labor or something. He recruits hunky neighbor Jason (George Krissa) to shepherd the precocious children through an endless list of absolutely necessary holiday activities. Bennett’s first major role years ago was in the movie Mean Girls. He also co-wrote this script, in which he actually tells the family dog “Stop trying to make ‘fetch’ happen.” I have nothing more to say.
10) A Christmas To Treasure (2022) – Lifetime
Older stars playing the parents: Nobody I recognize. Maybe they’re big in Canada? Romantic chemistry? NONE.
A real-life gay couple with no chemistry try to find a hidden treasure… before it’s too late! 33-year-old Tyler Frey and 41-year-old Kyle Dean Massey are supposed to be high school sweethearts reunited with each other and their friends: two racially diverse straight couples. Everyone’s on an elaborate treasure hunt somehow engineered by a beloved frail old neighbor just before she croaked. However, nobody really needs the money except Frey, who wants to save the grand ole Marley house (again, a model home decorated at Kohl’s.) Someone actually says “I don’t need the money. I’m here for the cocoa.”
This one broke me. Who are these people? This movie is a painful reminder that a film can be racially diverse, but it certainly isn’t class-wise. If everyone’s so damn rich, why don’t they just give Frey the money to save the house? This one caused me to take a long break from viewing these movies. But now it’s a new season, and here we are.
Marlene Dietrich is slumped in a wing back chair chain smoking in the corner of our living room. She is clad in her trademark top hat and tuxedo, although the ensemble is far from crisp and clean. I am on the leather settee across the room, drinking my second cup of coffee while reading the Sunday New York Times. I embraced technology and began to read the newspaper on my iPad last year, but recently I had to switch back to the hard copy. Marlene is strangely drawn to the light of the iPad. As soon as I open it, she starts hovering around, trying to paw at it. She got her hands on it once when my partner Tim carelessly left it open on the credenza. This resulted in considerable damage, which of course I had to pay for. Now I keep it locked in my briefcase and only use it for work purposes.
Sometimes Tim and I talk to Marlene, but she rarely responds. When she does, it is with incoherent mumbles shrouded in a thick German accent. Most of the time she just sits there, staring off into space with a look that might be described as profound sorrow or excruciating boredom. It’s open to interpretation. What is certain is that she is constantly smoking cigarettes. She smokes like a … well, like a fiend. There’s no other way to put it.
The constant smoke is pretty offensive, even if it does simulate that hazy effect in which she was photographed for her films. When Tim and I realized that the acrid smoke was masking a more ghastly smell of decay, we stopped complaining about it. Tim always liked to burn incense and scented candles anyway; now he has gone full-throttle with air fresheners, perfume oils and room deodorizers. There is an apothecary on Lafayette Street that sells $150 cheesecloth bags of a special potpourri blend created specifically to eradicate the stench of the divas. Tim visits there pretty much every week, although I can’t help but think that Emiliano, the part-time model behind the register might also have something to do with the frequency as well.
I tried to explain to Tim that we can’t afford this extravagance – the nightly news suggests that a simple $1.49 box of baking soda would do the trick. But as with all matters financial, he doesn’t like to talk about it. He seems to think that as long as our credit cards are not declined, then we have the money to pay for anything.
I go to the kitchen to refill my coffee cup. Tim is standing at the stove, scrambling eggs. His shoulders are tensed halfway to his ears, his mouth a taught crimson bowtie as he shuffles the eggs around the pan, shaking his head slightly.
“She drank the rest of the gin.” he says curtly.
“How do you know it was her?” I ask. I turn to the sink and begin to nonchalantly rinse out the crystal goblet which I had used for the previous evening’s nightcap.
“Just look at her.” He nods towards the corner by the garbage can, where Edith Piaf is rocking back and forth on her feet, twisting a tortured handkerchief in her fists. The empty bottle of gin is lying in the recycle bin next to her, right where I left it the night before. She will burst into song shortly, most likely “Non, Je Ne Regrette Rein.” It was quite jarring at first, but now we see the signs: first the rocking starts, followed by the handkerchief twisting, then the low, guttural moans begin and eventually form the familiar tune that used to flood through our home on many a Sunday afternoon. I have grown accustomed to it. Tim, however, has not. “Fucking lush,” he mutters.
From the living room, I can hear the sounds of Marlene on the move: Every day, like clockwork, she heads out on a quest for cigarettes – dragging her filthy shoes across the antique Persian rug. Tim and I used to be fanatic about trying to maintain all of the fine furnishings we had purchased when we moved into this apartment together. Here, we had created our dream dwelling: a chic little paradise with an art deco design scheme. We were setting the stage for an endless series of sophisticated cocktail and dinner parties that never materialized: these are different times. Besides, we were working too hard to even think about entertaining. And then the divas showed up. Now there are stains and cigarette burns and everything is hopelessly caked with mud and ashes and god knows what else. Our broken Dyson vacuum lies in a heap underneath the baby grand piano.
“Why doesn’t THAT reanimate?” Tim cracked. I thought it was funny but I didn’t laugh. I wasn’t in the mood.
I return to my newspaper with a fresh cup of coffee. “See you later Marlene,” I say with faux exuberance. She flicks her hand over her shoulder as a sign of vague acknowledgement. At the front door, she softly begins warbling “Fawwing in wuv again… nevuh wanted tooooo….”
Theories abound as to the cause of this phenomena – 24 hour news channels devote considerable programming to speculative hypothesis involving a century of electronic sound, radio, and television waves intersecting with static electricity and wifi hot spots or possibly some other random factors that resulted in these reanimated corpses taking on the forms of our dear departed divas.
The idea that the subject has to be deceased is cause for even more speculation. There are no reports of Madonna, Britney or Cher zombies. It’s those that have been mourned and continue to be revered. Conspiracy theorists are having a field day.
I should also explain that these are not your garden variety “shoot ‘em in the head to kill ‘em” movie type of zombies. Go ahead and destroy your Lena Horne – by dawn the next day, another one will be back in a glittering pantsuit, angrily shout-singing “Stormy Weather” around the apartment.
There’s no point in maiming them, either – our friends Thomas and Ed had a Dusty Springfield that kept gesticulating wildly, smashing knickknacks and bric-a-brac with every dramatic swoop. They accidentally tore off her arms while trying to restrain her before she destroyed every last piece of their precious mercury glass collection. The next morning they awoke to a ghostly rendition of “You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me” as a fully intact Dusty zombie hurled, one by one, the remaining contents of their china cabinet down the hall towards their bedroom.
Our Judy is perched on top of the dresser in the corner of the master bedroom – she wears a fedora, black tights and a dress jacket…. eternally snapping her fingers to the intro of “Come On Get Happy.” She rarely ever sings, but ya gotta give credit to that corpse: she’s got rhythm. Even as the flesh wears away on her fingers and falls onto the floor, she keeps steady time.
It’s not really them – we have to remind ourselves that. And some of these zombies are cast wildly against type for the roles they are now inhabiting. I saw a TikTok of a little old Asian Mama Cass that really had the moves down. But it’s not the same.
Our divas disappeared – often prematurely, tragically, suddenly. What we were left to comfort ourselves with were their images, movies and recordings – these are the trappings that most likely brought them forth in their most stereotypical and obvious incarnations. Now that they have been among us, even in these imperfect decaying forms, we can’t go back to having them at arm’s length. Not anymore.
Kenn Duncan is widely considered to be one of the foremost dance photographers of the late 20th Century. In addition to his work as principal photographer for After Dark and Dance Magazine, his photos also appeared in Vogue, Time, Life, Newsweek and Harper’s Bazaar. From the mid-1960’s through the early 1980’s, he photographed nearly every major dance company in the world as well as many Broadway shows.
Born in New Jersey on September 22, 1928, Duncan began his career as a figure skater and then segued into dance. His career took another turn when he was sidelined with a broken foot and signed up for a six-week photography course at the local YMCA. Naturally he gravitated back to the dance world for photographic inspiration.
In addition to his dance photography, Duncan was well regarded for his nude photographs, with an emphasis on male subjects. His first two books, Nudes (1970) and More Nudes (1971) were favorably received for his “discreet and artistic arrangements of his subjects.”
Christopher Walken (1968)
After Dark was an edgy entertainment and culture-based magazine that sprang from the waning Ballroom Dance Magazine in 1968. In The Rise And Fall Of Gay Culture, Daniel Harris writes; “One of the strangest reincarnations in journalistic history… it was out of the ashes of a periodical devoted to such topics as waltzes, rumbas, and turkey trots that After Dark, an audacious mass-market experiment in gay eroticism, arose like a phoenix in all of its subversive splendor.”
Although After Dark was not officially a gay magazine, the publishers were certainly willing to cater to that audience, pushing the envelope on male nudity to a degree that is still not seen in mainstream US publications 50 years later.
Duncan photographed Bette Midler numerous times through the years, including three After Dark cover photos and the cover shot for her 1976 Live At Last LP.
After Dark shuttered in early 1983. The following year, Duncan published The Red Shoes, a photo book featuring celebrities wearing red shoes in a nod to both the Hans Christian Anderson fairy tale as well as the ruby slippers of The Wizard of Oz. Among those featured were many familiar subjects of his earlier work, including (pictured below) Brad Davis, Bette Midler, Maxwell Caulfield, Eartha Kitt, Dick Cavett, Mikhail Baryshnikov, John Curry, Richard Thomas, Gregory Hines, and Treat Williams.
Duncan began work on a second Red Shoes book, but it remained unfinished, along with several other projects. He was just 57 years old when he died of AIDS complications at New York Hospital on July 27, 1986. In 2003, the New York Public Library for the Performing Arts acquired 600,000 photos from Kenn Duncan’s estate. Many of these photos have been digitized and are now available for viewing online for free.
During vacations from the 1930’s through the mid-1950’s, artists Paul Cadmus, Jared French and his wife Margaret Hoening French photographed each other on the beaches of New York’s Fire Island as well as Nantucket and Cape Cod, Massachusettes.
Usually nude or donning simple costumes, the artists also used found objects as props to create stark, surreal and/or erotic images. They passed Margaret’s Leica camera around, taking turns as subject and auteur. This collaborative authorship was reflected in the umbrella name they chose for this work, utilizing the first two letters of their first names: PaJaMa.
Paul Cadmus on Cape Cod (1928)
Years later Cadmus explained, “After we’d been working most of the day, we’d go out late afternoons and take photographs when the light was best. They were just playthings. We would hand out these little photographs when we went to dinner parties, like playing cards.”
The dynamic amongst the trio was complicated: Jared French and Paul Cadmus were lovers – a relationship that continued during his marriage to Margaret. All three lived and worked in a townhouse at 5 St. Lukes Place in Greenwich Village.
The PaJaMa collective expanded in 1945 with the inclusion of Cadmus’ boyfriend, George Tooker, an artist 16 years his junior. Cadmus would later explain “I had Jerry (Jared) in the daytime and George at night.” Although his name was not added to the PaJaMa moniker, Tooker was an active participant in the collective from 1944-49.
George Tooker with Paul Cadmus in Nantucket and Provincetown PaJaMa photos, (1946-48)
A 2015 New York Times review of a PaJaMa exhibition noted that their photos “breathed eroticism.” While some of the hundreds of photos are masterpieces of magical realism, others appear to be figure studies for their painting.
As when they vacationed on Fire Island, the collective were joined on Cape Cod by various friends and lovers, fellow artists and writers that were part of their New York social circle.
Dancer/choreographer Todd Bolenderwas the subject of a series of PaJaMa photos taken in Provincetown (1947)
Museum curator/publisher Monroe Wheeler is seen in 1947 Provincetown photos with French, Tooker & Cadmus. His lifelong partner Glenway Wescott was more prominent in the Fire Island PaJaMa photos of the early 1940’s.
Writer Christopher Isherwood with his then-boyfriend, photographer Bill Caskey, Provincetown (1947)
Photographer George Platt Lynes (left, wi/ Monroe Wheeler) joined them on Fire Island and later in Provincetown with his own camera.
PaJaMa photos are part of this tribute to playwright Tennessee Williams, displayed at Provincetown’s Atlantic House, one of the oldest gay bars in the U.S.
Provincetown, 1947 (l-r): George Platt Lynes, Monroe Wheeler, Paul Cadmus and George Tooker
George Tooker, Sleepers I (1951)
On Cape Cod, the collective occasionally experimented with color film, which gave their work a different texture.
The quartet toured Europe in 1949 and by the end of the trip, Tooker had split from Cadmus. He later said “I was looking for a relationship and my relationship with Paul always included Jared and Margaret French.” Tooker would soon find a partner in painter Bill Christopher, with whom he remained until Christopher’s death in 1973.
Back to a trio, the PaJaMa collective would return to Fire Island for their summer getaways in 1950.
PaJaMa, Provincetown (1948)
Paul Cadmus & Margaret French, Jenny Lind Tower, North Truro (1947)
PaJaMa, Women & Boys (ca 1940s)
As with George Platt Lynes’ male nude photographs, the PaJaMa photographs did not receive much notice or recognition until the 1990’s. They are now frequently exhibited in galleries and selections are a part of the MOMA collection.
In case you missed it, Tracy Chapman’s 1988 song “Fast Car” has been covered by country artist Luke Combs. It has now topped the country charts and has out-performed the pop chart standing of the original. Chapman is now the first female African-American songwriter to have the top song on the country charts.
Chapman released a statement to Billboard: “I never expected to find myself on the country charts, but I’m honored to be there. I’m happy for Luke and his success and grateful that new fans have found and embraced ‘Fast Car.’”
I hate to be a wet blanket on the festivities, but I can’t be the only person that thinks a white male country artist covering this song is a little tone deaf. Especially right now.
I believe Combs’ heart was in the right place when he recorded the song, but in the hands of his listeners – and the country music crowd is overwhelmingly conservative – it becomes another example of how we’re supposed to believe that race and gender do not make a difference as to who gets ahead in the world.
At a time when teaching African-American history is being treated as an act of aggression and the “critical race theory” boogeyman is being used to rile up the right wing mob, a caucasian male country singer covering “Fast Car” makes perfect sense. Because we’re all the same, right? A poor white male and a poor black woman are interchangeable, right? It’s a level playing field. Right?
I do appreciate that Combs is faithful to the original. As a songwriter, he did not want to change a word of Chapman’s song. By the 5th verse, he’s working in the market as a checkout girl. “You’ll get a job and I’ll get promoted…” the lyric goes. Tell me: who is more likely to get that promotion – Chapman’s protagonist or Combs?
“Starting from zero got nothing to prove…” Yes, but “zero” is not the same for everyone. We are all programmed to believe that we live in the land of equal opportunity. If you can make it here, you’ll make it anywhere. If you don’t succeed, well, you just weren’t good enough, or you didn’t try hard enough. But really… we don’t all start in the same place, do we? Most people get a boost in one way or another, whether it’s financial support or nepotism or a legacy admission into a university. Unfortunately, boosts both big and small are often forgotten or underplayed when people recount their path to success.
Dustin Rowles writes on Pajiba.com that he found a strong resonance with “Fast Car” when it was first released back in 1988. I did as well. I was the child of a single parent home – a B student attending a B+ university, dependent on many grants and loans. I was headed home at the end of my freshman year as the song began to climb the charts. Unlike many of my classmates, I wasn’t afforded the opportunity to take a $50-a-week summer stock job – a rite of passage for theater students. This would be one of those “little boost” moments that many experience and forget about. Instead, I was expected to live at home and work a full time job so I could contribute towards my next year of school. This meant I was returning to a $4.25-an-hour retail spot at Record World, which wasn’t exactly going to make me financially solvent.
Here was my boost: When family members kept forgetting to pick me up from work, my mother bought me my first car. It wasn’t a fast one. The 1982 Plymouth Horizon cost a few hundred dollars and gradually slowed down whenever it got too hot. But it had a cassette player, and Tracy Chapman’s debut record was on heavy rotation that summer.
Rowles writes that he harbored some resentment for the song, which he perceived as predicting that he would not be able to break the cycle of poverty and dysfunction that he had grown up with. I didn’t feel that way. The song effected me deeply, as did her whole album. But I knew that I was better off than the song’s protagonist. I did not have a false equivalence. My previous job had been at a supermarket where I worked with single black women trying to support their kids on minimum wage. I knew they would not have been hired at the record store making that extra .90 cents an hour.
Ultimately, Rowles concludes that “…there is a way out. Unfortunately, it’s not a fast car, which only allows you to outrun your problems for so long. The easiest way to break the cycle is through education.” He concedes that, as a white male, he had a boost: access to an education that minorities often did not.
And now, 35 years later, “Fast Car” is topping the charts in the wake of the Supreme Court striking down a couple of very important boosts: affirmative action in college admissions, and Biden’s student loan forgiveness program. The latter should be of concern to people of all persuasions who are staring down a lifetime of loan interest payments. But that is assuming every person has the equal opportunity to be accepted into an institution of higher education. Without affirmative action, that is not the case.
As a high school student in Cleveland, Ohio, Tracy Chapman was accepted into A Better Chance, a non-profit program that placed high-achieving minority students in prep schools. She graduated from Wooster School in Connecticut and went on to attend Tufts University, where she was discovered by fellow student/future filmmaker Brian Koppelman. Koppelman’s father was a record executive and signed her to SBK Publishing, which led to a deal with Elektra Records.
Billboard estimates the recent global publishing royalties of “Fast Car” exceed $500,000. Unlike so many other artists, Chapman still owns both the writers’ and publisher’s share of the song, so that money is hers. Additionally, the success of Combs’ version has brought attention to her original, increasing activity 44% since his version was released, according to Luminate. Her song, in its original form, is speaking to a whole new generation. It just needed a boost.
Madame Spivy photographed by Carl Van Vechten (1932)
“This song is dedicated to a friend who suffers terribly from hangovers. It’s very sad and we must be very quiet, please…”
Ladies and Gentleman, it is time once again to revisit that late great dynamic lady of song, Madame Spivy LeVoe (1906-1971), also known simply as Spivy. A lesbian entertainer, nightclub owner and character actress, Spivy has been described as “The Female Noel Coward” – to which I add “…. if he had been born in Brooklyn as Bertha Levine.”
In the Spring/Summer of 2020 with the pandemic in full swing, cabaret performer extraordinaire Justin Vivian Bond was livestreaming weekly shows from The House of Whimsy, aka their home in upstate New York. Imagine my delight when Mx. Viv covered Mme. Spivy’s “I Didn’t Do A Thing Last Night” – one of my favorite of her recordings.
Justin Vivian Bond as Auntie Glam, belting one out in The House Of Whimsy (2020)
As with “Auntie’s Face“, Spivy uses her familiar spoken intro for “I Didn’t Do A Thing Last Night”: A solemn pronouncement that “This is VERY sad and we must be VERY quiet, please.” One can imagine that it was a playful way to get the attention of a noisy nightclub audience.
Spivy wrote the song with John La Touche providing the lyrics. Today, La Touche is best remembered for his Broadway musical The Golden Apple and for his lyrical contributions to Leonard Bernstein’s Candide. He also collaborated with Duke Ellington on the musicals Cabin In The Sky & Beggar’s Holiday.
Spivy and LaTouche met in the mid-1930’s and had a tumultuous lifelong friendship. At one point Spivy paid him fifty dollars a week to supply her with songs. During one falling out in 1938, LaTouche referred to her as his “enemy.” “Poor Spivy,” he wrote, “hysterical, glandular, ugly, charming, and so talented.” After another disagreement later that year, he wrote to her; “I’m sorry; you can hardly afford to lose a staunch friend and neither can I. But both of us are always doing things we can’t afford.”
Of the 15 songs Spivy is known to have recorded, 5 of them were written or co-written by LaTouche: One was a solo credit, two were written with Spivy herself, and two were in collaboration with Goetz Eyck, a German-born musician who would go on to a film career as Peter van Eyck.
One LaTouche composition that Spivy did not preserve on record was a highlight of her live performances: “I’m Going On A Binge With A Dinge.” She often concluded her set with this racy little tune detailing a biracial protagonist going uptown for a tryst. “White people / Don’t be offended … ” the song begins. Other lyrics: “Gonna end up in Harlem / With my end up in Harlem”
Unfortunately, LaTouche’s work for and with Mme. Spivy has generally been forgotten or dismissed. In Howard Pollack’s 2017 biography The Ballad Of John LaTouche, the author spends several pages analyzing the lyrics and structure of these compositions before concluding that “the literary attractions of these songs, heavy on irony, outweigh their musical interests.”
Is that so?
Like Spivy, LaTouche was a heavy drinker, which ultimately led to both of their premature passings. He was just 41 years old when he died of a heart attack at his home in Calais, Vermont in 1956. Spivy was 64 years old when she died in January, 1971.
I Didn’t Do A Thing Last Night
Doctor dear, come over with a stretcher – I’ve never in my life felt quite so rotten. My brain has snapped in two and my face is turning blue, and everything I eat tastes just like cotton.
Oh yes I did everything you told me – I practically never left my room. I observed your special diet, had lots of peace and quiet. So why do I feel like something in Grant’s Tomb? Lord knows why I don’t feel well – I didn’t do a thing last night.
I had a few friends in to play bridge with me, And I sipped a little gin, just to keep them company. Then a pal of mine named Rhoda came in with such a crew, I gave them scotch and soda and I had a teeny one, too.
Then Vero P.T. Roth brought me some chicken broth, which is insipid, doctor, don’t you think? So someone in the party added a soupçon of Bacardi it really makes a very nourishing drink.
At nine my cousin Andy made such insulting cracks, that I had a little brandy just to help me to relax. He tried to grab the bottle and dragged me out of bed. When I saw that it was empty, I broke it on his head.
He’s still lying on the carpet and my maid insists he’s dead. Oh doctor dear, why do I feel queer? I didn’t do a thing last night.
At ten, Princess O’Ravivovich said; “Today is Pushkin’s birthday.” So I had a little Slivovitz just to help her celebrate. Then that fool Tessie Zackary upset my Dubonnet, so they shook me up a daquiri to chase my blues away.
Those pills of yours were dry, so I washed them down with rye, And I thought some exercise might help me rest. I dashed down the avenue ’til somebody yelled “Woo!” Good heavens – I’d forgotten to get dressed!
By then I felt so dizzy, to tell the honest truth, They made me something fizzy out of vodka and vermouth. At one, Rear Admiral Nipper, the old man of the sea, arrived with his battalion, they had to sail at three.
But doctor, I just noticed: They’re still in bed with me! It’s all so mad and I feel so bad, and I didn’t do a thing last night.
At five, my old friend Tony said that doctors were baloney. He said “Yoga exercises cured all pain.” Doctor dear, I was a wreck with my legs around my neck, and it took four hours to get them down again.
They sent for rubbing alcohol to rub away the aches, but they couldn’t find the stuff at all – I’d drunk it by mistake. Oh yes, I slept just like a baby, ’til I woke up right now. No, the drinks did not affect me, I’m as flaccid as a cow. Except I have a tendency to suddenly go “WOW!”
Why in hell don’t I feel well? I didn’t do a thing last night!
John La Touche songs recorded by Spivy Fool In the Moonlight (music: Goetz Eyck) I Didn’t Do A Thing Last Night (music: Spivy) I Love Town (music: Goetz Eyck) Last of the Fleur De Levy Surrealist (music: Spivy)
Unrecorded La Touche songs performed by Spivy I’m Going On A Binge With A Dinge Moonlight
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